In Mark 14:43-44 (KJV) Judas Iscariot, one of the original twelve disciples, betrays Jesus. Judas identified Jesus for those who had come to capture Him leading to His eventual crucifixion. Judas betrayed Him with a kiss. Mark 14:66-72 (KJV) In this scripture Peter denies Jesus three times, as Jesus had told him he would. In II Timothy 4:9-18 (KJV) Paul is betrayed or abandoned by all of his friends, and fellow servants of Christ, with the exception of Luke.
As the above scripture indicates being betrayed or abandoned by friends is nothing new. Imagine walking with Jesus, hearing Him teach, witnessing the miracles He had performed, and then betraying Him as Judas did. When Jesus was captured, Peter who had also walked with Jesus, listened to Him teach, and watched Him perform miracles, denied being associated with Him not just once, but three times. Paul was in prison facing execution, and was deserted by all of his friends with the exception of Luke.
Friends that love and stand by us through the ups and downs that life throws our way are extremely rare. Great friendships are built over time, and they are tested when trouble arises that causes one friend to really need the other. Unfortunately, many people that we believed to be our true friends fail these tests.
If you have a good bit of money, then more than likely you have numerous friends. How many of those friends would abandon you if all your money was suddenly gone? How many friends would come to your house for a party vs. the number that would show up if you were in the hospital? How many of your friends would take a phone call from you at three O'clock in the morning, and without hesitation, rush out to help you with whatever you needed. How many of them would instead sound put out that you had phoned at that hour no matter what you needed, and abruptly hang up the phone? How many of your friends would ask you into their home and make you feel welcome, if you showed up in the middle of the night needing them? How many would inform you they were asleep, and close the door in your face? It is hurtful when you have been friends with someone for quite some time only to find out when you need them, they will abandon you faster than you can say their first name.
It is disappointing to discover that a friend you went above and beyond to help on more than one occasion isn't willing to help you with even the slightest need. You know the type, you help them move their entire house five times, and then when you call them to move one sofa they come near collapse, and it's abandonment time. These people are not true friends, but are your friends at their convenience. They are selfish individuals who are not willing to put themselves out for the sake of others no matter how much the other person has sacrificed for them. Realizing this about someone you thought loved and cared for you is quite hurtful, and it speaks volumes about the character of the friend who is unwilling to stand by you.
More than likely most people have had this experience with at least one person they had counted as a true friend. When we ask a friend for help, and get a negative response it is hurtful. When we are hurt by their reaction to our request, we instantly have the fleshly desire to respond by firing off a list of all the sacrifices we have made for them in the past. This is a mistake, don't do it. The truth is we did the things we did for them out of kindness and love, and not for what they might do for us in the future. If we fire back with a response that points out all we've done for them, then we are behaving no better than they have. Instead, thank them anyway, apologize for disturbing them, and forgive them. Forgiving them is necessary in order to heal your pain. Once you have forgiven them, move forward having gained the knowledge of what type friend they truly are.
What kind of friend are you? If a friend called you in the middle of the night with a problem, would you speak kindly to them and be willing to help, or would you be rude, and remind them of the time as if they weren't aware of it? Are you a true friend to others as long as things are going great, and a good time is being had by all, only to abandon them when times get tough or they need something from you? Do you stand by your friends, and support them in their time of need or do you have abandonment issues? Do you do things for your friends begrudgingly or because you love and care for them, and want to help them when they need you? Are you a taker who has issues with being on the giving end of things? Are you selfish when it comes to putting yourself out for your friends, even though they make sacrifices, and are there for you anytime you need them? If so, God knows it because He knows your heart. Believe me, your friend will more than likely be able to tell it too. Your attitude will probably give it away. I know this from experience, as I've been on the receiving end of that kind of help on more than one occasion.
If you are aware you have issues in this area, pray and ask God to assist you in changing your heart. Pray for an honest desire to help those you love and care for when they need you. Ask Him to help you in the area of selfishness. Once you have your heart in the right place, then you will be able to be a true friend, and help others with a right attitude. Keep in mind also that everyone needs a friend at one time or another to help them through tough times, and that includes you. When you do need someone, it will more than likely be the very friend that you hurt by abandoning them, when they needed you. Not only will you need a favor from them, but it will probably be bigger than the one they needed from you.
True friends don't come along very often, and they aren't appreciated enough. Know who your true friends are. If you have friends in your life that are there for you anytime you need them, count them among your blessings. Let them know how much they are appreciated, and how much you love and care for them. Be there for them like they are for you. Don't abandon them, when you know they need you. I have experienced abandonment with a few friends in my life, and it was hurtful. I often wonder if some people even know the definition of true friendship. With that said, however, remember we all have a true friend in Jesus. He will be there for us in good times and bad, day or night, He loves and cares for us, and He will never leave or forsake us, that is certain. If your friends were to make a list today of the people they can count on anytime day or night, and a list of those that would abandon them in their time of need, on which one of these lists would you find your name?
If you have a prayer request and would like me to pray for you, leave me a message and I will be more than happy to do so. May God bless you.
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